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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Mariana, 240294.
Fadzril's ever since 281209.
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Friday, January 7, 2011

I don't know where to start. I really don't. My life had officially went rock bottom. It almost feels like i'm left with absolutely nothing at all. I've lost you. I can't believe i'm saying this, but i really hate my life right now. Yes, i've had suicidal thoughts before. Cause i feel like i'm almost invincible to all. I feel useless and worthless. It's like my presence is meaningless to you people. The way people are treating me, i feel that way.

You. This tug of war between the two of us, i can't take it anymore. I'm holding my white flag of surrender. I admit defeat. I don't want to fight anymore. I need you. Here. I hope you'll be reading this in the morning when you wake up. I'd really wish we could start afresh. Sometimes, i wish we could forget our past easily. It's the past that's been eating our relationship alive. Our boat is sinking, baby. And that's the last thing I want something to happen. I still need you in my life. Being with you is really pure bliss. Happiness. If you want to know why i'm still with you, go to my facebook photos. Go to the album, cinta sejati(true love). Take a look at the first photo. The caption says it all. The reasons why I'm in love with you, and still holding on to you. I can't let someone who made a big impact to my life, go just like that. We've yet to experience things together. I know i've said hurtful things to you when i'm mad, but you should know that i don't mean any of those things. The only thing that I regret now, is to exist. If i didn't exist, you wouldn't be in this state. It's 3am, and i still can't sleep. Thoughts of you keeps lingering in my mind. My mind just cant seem to be at rest. I hope you'll come back soon. I'll wait for you under my block on January 10 when you promised me you would accompany me to take my results. Love you so much.

I shall eat now. Nothing seems right anymore. Goodbye.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay