Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating
Profile Mariana, 240294. Fadzril's ever since 281209. I have amazing girlfriends. And a caring family. Tumblr. Facebook. Twitter Exits ♥Boyfriend♥ Nasuha♥ Shikin♥ Fadhlynn♥ Ary♥ Jiamin♥ Farah♥ Archives May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Saturday, January 29, 2011 My classmates from 2009 till 2010. Yeah, i missed them alot. Though we had some tough moments in between. Im realy glad i was a part of them. Soon enough in april, most of us or maybe all of us are going to different schools and courses. Im sure as hell gonna miss them. And my next academic life, although i was disappointed where i ended up at, Im still determined that i can go to university one day. Yeah, thats my goal. I have quite a number of friends who are going to the same school as me, and also the same course as me, and of couse im elated as there's going to be familiar faces arounds. Faces.. i don't know where Im going to put my parent's face though. I've disappointed them so much. Too much to be exact. From psle till O levels. I guess i will never be as good as my sisters, the clever ones. While me and my brother are the lazy ones. sigh. But hey, im going to prove to them that i will make it one day. Im excited for school. Not really excited to meet new people though, i admit i can be quite anti-social. But im more keen to the new things that im going to learn. I mean, i got into a business course for crying out loud. There's so many things of it that i don't understand, and im going to learn it once i started schooling. I still wanted a media-based course though, damn. Monday, January 17, 2011 Us during our one year anniversary. I love my boyfriend. But i really hate it when we fight. I know most of the time I started it, sometimes i really didnt mean to, and sometimes I'm really pissed with you and that causes us to fight. Whatever it is, I'm sorry. Sunday, January 16, 2011 Last five days was really hard for me. Really. With no supports from my family. Even you. Now i don't even know where to go. I can't please anyone. Not even you. I even have thoughts of dropping school forever. I seriously cant make anyone proud. You guys expect way too much from me, and it's giving me too much pressure for me to handle. No point of me being in your lives anyway. All i do is disappoint you people. And you. I dont know what the hell you want from me. Its fucking hard for me to even decide where to go. And it's all because you're fucking selfish. Sure, you're afraid to lose me. But cant you just accept that i failed in my life and i cant go to the place the you and I both want. Urgh forget it. I;ll just quite school and be a housewife in the future. Even though thats not what i dream to be. Bye photography, im dropping you for good. Friday, January 7, 2011 I don't know where to start. I really don't. My life had officially went rock bottom. It almost feels like i'm left with absolutely nothing at all. I've lost you. I can't believe i'm saying this, but i really hate my life right now. Yes, i've had suicidal thoughts before. Cause i feel like i'm almost invincible to all. I feel useless and worthless. It's like my presence is meaningless to you people. The way people are treating me, i feel that way. You. This tug of war between the two of us, i can't take it anymore. I'm holding my white flag of surrender. I admit defeat. I don't want to fight anymore. I need you. Here. I hope you'll be reading this in the morning when you wake up. I'd really wish we could start afresh. Sometimes, i wish we could forget our past easily. It's the past that's been eating our relationship alive. Our boat is sinking, baby. And that's the last thing I want something to happen. I still need you in my life. Being with you is really pure bliss. Happiness. If you want to know why i'm still with you, go to my facebook photos. Go to the album, cinta sejati(true love). Take a look at the first photo. The caption says it all. The reasons why I'm in love with you, and still holding on to you. I can't let someone who made a big impact to my life, go just like that. We've yet to experience things together. I know i've said hurtful things to you when i'm mad, but you should know that i don't mean any of those things. The only thing that I regret now, is to exist. If i didn't exist, you wouldn't be in this state. It's 3am, and i still can't sleep. Thoughts of you keeps lingering in my mind. My mind just cant seem to be at rest. I hope you'll come back soon. I'll wait for you under my block on January 10 when you promised me you would accompany me to take my results. Love you so much. I shall eat now. Nothing seems right anymore. Goodbye. Thursday, January 6, 2011 Cutting my hair in progress. Happy? Made this just now in the afternoon. Love you Fadzril. To know what Im feeling whenever, go to my tumblr, you'll know everything. flickedtimes.tumblr.com Wednesday, January 5, 2011 I miss my boyfriend so much. Second day of not meeting, and it totally sucks. And now i can't even meet him. I'm bummed. Seriously. Since i've nothing much to do, i've decide to walk down the memory lane of my love life. Yaaaaah it's only been a year, but you know, so many wonderful things happened in between. I'll start from the beginning. Haha, this was our first ever photo. Wayyyyyy before we even got together. So tiut. And I remembered this was the first time we ever went to town together, and I met your brothers. Scary day for me hahahaha.I had road race in the morning and ended at 10. Since you had school, i decided to pick you up after that. Hehe, oink oink. you know i know okay baby.This photo means alot to me. I had the most crappiest 16th birthday thanks to MOE. I got held back in school till about 6pm cause of this oral thingy which didnt even concern us. Some friends of mine even forgotten my birthday. Yeap, it sucks. I didnt get to see my mum on my birthday cause she was working. But you made my day. Just by meeting me. It means alot to me. After my birthday, there wasn't any belated celebrations or whatever. So yeah, i treasured my night with you.This was when I accompanied you to the airport to send your aunt and uncle to Umrah. Hehehe.This was the second time we tonned together. Ahhh i miss those times.And this was during his birthday. Met up with his friends cause they bought a cake for him. I remember this date. It was 28 April 2010. Yeap, on our fourth month. Hehe we always have nothing to do on our monthsaries. So yeah, lepak bawah block times.You followed me to my friends picnic. I went to your house first cause you got school, and i fetched you.Ahhhh this is a day to remember right baby? One of the best day of my life. You slept over my house. Gosh, i want it again.Raya 2010 with my friends. Thank you for tagging along.Haha, when we just dyed our hair. This was on 14th November 2010. I remember it clearly cause it was just two days after my last paper. We went to the park. And met our cat. Heheh.This was when I met you at 6am. All the way till 6pm. Man, it could've been the whole day, as in till night. But its okay. This was when we didnt get to meet for a few days. And we met up and went to bugis. Since both of us had never been to Iluma before. HAHA so noob. But yeah, awesome day with him.Aha, and finally. On our first year anniversary. We finally made it right baby? A whole year with you was pure bliss. I wouldnt want anything more when I've got you. Alright i really really do miss him after seeing all these photos. Gosh. I really want to get out of this house, just to meet my favourite boy. I miss you baby. )': Tuesday, January 4, 2011 Hi. So i got grounded. For a very stupid reason. Very. Stupid. Now i cant meet my boyfriend. Sunday, January 2, 2011 Survive a new year people! You cant possibly be happy everyday in a year right? Haha. My countdown sucks. Oh well, takleh buat apape lagi. Ahhh i dont know what to blog actually. just to keep it alive? Okay lah byebye!
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay