Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating
Profile Mariana, 240294. Fadzril's ever since 281209. I have amazing girlfriends. And a caring family. Tumblr. Facebook. Twitter Exits ♥Boyfriend♥ Nasuha♥ Shikin♥ Fadhlynn♥ Ary♥ Jiamin♥ Farah♥ Archives May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Sunday, August 15, 2010 Why do i have the feeling that i was never enough for you? Why do i feel that you're expecting too much from me? Are you appreciating every single thing that i have done for you? The sacrifices i made. Are you appreciating it? I know i made a mistake back then, till its hard for you to let it go. I was a selfish bitch which you hate. I admit. And i didnt wore the same colour shirt as you the other day. Im a liar. I know that. And yes i reblogged his picture on my tumblr. I realised all my mistakes. I changed. I know. I know its hard for you to trust me back after all this mistakes i made. Im trying my best to fix it all back. To gain your trust back. Its hard, but i hope with all the cold hard sweats, it'll be worth it. I dont want to be ego, so i wont fight for my mistakes. Cause i know my mistakes were wrongdoings, so there's no reason for me to back it up. Im not asking you to completely trust me after I say sorry. But all i want you to do is to make an effort and see that i am actually trying my best to gain your trust back and also telling you the truth. But by saying you got no time, simply means my efforts were not enough and not worth it. I love you a hell lot, take notice of that please. I dont want my efforts to go to waste just because you have a stubborn mind. Please. Im fighting for my love. I wont ever give up on you. Even if you leave me, i'll try my very best to get you back in my life. I want to be selfish for this kind of matter. I dont want us to talk about break-ups each time we fight, im sick and tired of that. I want us to have a stable relationship just like we had before. I dont want our relationship to be hanging on a thread like always. It sucks when you keep saying that you will only take care of me until the right guy comes. I will prove to you that the right guy has been with me all along, taking care of me, showering me with all the love he can offer. Im going to prove that you are that right guy. <3 Friday, August 13, 2010 And hey sweetie Well I need you here tonight And I know that you don't want to be leaving me Yeah you want it but I can't help it I just feel complete when you're by my side But I know you can't come home 'til they're singing When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile, The whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing Just the way you are I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours (like yours) It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by I watch the clock to make my timing just right Not loving you is harder than you know. Fadzril. slowly, i'll change back to the person you once knew. I dont know what happened to us. Its like as though somebody jinxed our relationship. Why must this happen to us? Especially now. I really feel like giving up on everything. I've explained, you still dont trust me. There's nothing more i can do. Cause i've said the truth. So idk. I dont know what will be our outcome. Whatever it is, i pray we will be okay. Wednesday, August 11, 2010 I dont know what love was, until you came along. For the past 7 months, you have been my pillar of strength and my source of happiness. You made me feel more alive than ever before. I dont know what would happen to me when you're gone for good. Every single thing i'd do, you take it to heart. You get angry with me, but at least i know you still care. I've never doubted your love since Day one. I've never asked myself this question every time we fight, "Do you even love me?" We fight because we care and love for each other. That is why i've never doubted your love. I really didnt know what happened just now. One minute we're okay, and the other, chaos. It's been like the fourth or the fifth time we fought this month. And it's only thr 11th of August. I dont know why we are fighting so much this month. It was really a struggle for me this month. Our relationship is always hanging on a thread, and at the same time i have to balance my study life too. Im pretty much stressed up about everything. there's too much pressure and high expectations. And with the condition of my family, i really dont think i can handle it all by myself. If you're gone, i can't share my day with you anymore. If you're gone, no more sweet goodnight texts anymore. If you're gone, the hugs I will miss. If you're gone, all that's left for me to keep are memories. You've done your job. in being a great boyfriend. Never did i regret knowing you, or even choosing to be with you. But i would regret leaving you. You're the best. you have always been. I love you. )': Ended school at 2.30pm. And i cabbed home cause it was raining and I wanted to get home as quick as i can, cause i didnt msg him the whole day in school, and i wanted to get home to web sms him. and we ended up like this. I really don't know what had happened. It was going on wayyyy too fast for me to catch up on. Whatever it is, i'm sorry. Monday, August 9, 2010 Selamat Tahun Baru ke-45 Singapura! Celebrated in school. Look at what we did! Sunday, August 8, 2010 NOOOO. I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID. IM SORRY. A MILLION TIMES SORRY. I DIDNT MEAN TO HURT YOU. ESPECIALLY YESTERDAY. You were the best, trust me on this. I've never had anyone like you ever in my life. How i wish i could just hug you and just ignore the world. Just the two of us. I shouldn't have thought about myself, i guess i was too selfish. If we part, let me meet you and give you one last hug and i'll give you a letter with a thousand reasons why i love you. I've already had 100 written, i dont mind writing another 900. I love you, i always have. just that you don't realise it. )': Tuesday, August 3, 2010 Everything happened in a blink of an eye. Knowing that i was to be blamed, made me twice as bad as i sound. Im choking up with guilt up in my throat. This is way too confusing. I didnt know that what I thought could make things better, eventually got worse. Im not accused, but i'm blamed. I blame myself too. I guess, i won't be too clingy on to you anymore. I'll try my best to control my ego and i hope this will all turn well. I dont know what to do anymore. Cause whatever i did, falls out of place. I am truly sorry for whatever i've done to have caused this. I miss you, i hope you know that. I'll see you when i see you. I love you alot. )': Monday, August 2, 2010 I would love to have someone to say,"I cant do anything to help you, but i can be there for you whenever you're in need of someone" whenever i'm feeling down. I want to have someone who would just hug me, and says, "Everything's gonna be alright." I don't want my relationship to be filled with "I love you", but "I care for you, and i'm here." I want someone who would realise. I need someone to make me feel special. Someone who would spent an hour travelling, just to meet me for five minutes cause he'll know every minute spent with me is worth it. That's the problem with me. I want too much. I desire for the impossible, till everything literally becomes a dream and never a reality. I had a pretty fucked up Monday. Im really disappointed in a number of people. Everybody literally pissed me off today. I've been weeping in tears the whole night. I miss my boyfriend. I want to meet him.. but i can't. I want to teach him today, but he cant meet me. His prelims are coming, and i feel that i cant do anything to help him. I really want him to pass. I want to make a big impact towards his studies. But i guess i can't. Goodbye. Sunday, August 1, 2010 Omg. Hello. So on the last day of July, I went to TM with my mother and Dhiya for some light shopping. We only took about 2 hours cause i wanted to go home badly. So yeah we did went home. I only bought a shirt, well better than nothing. Dhiya bought toys, she actually wanted this barbie doll house which is huge, but i didnt let so i gave her this farmhouse toys which cause about 4.90. HAHA. Oh well she loves it. Went home and waited till it was 6pm. Boyfriend came over for a sleepover! YAY! Gosh, i loved every minute spent with him. He was at my house for 12 hours(Info tak perlu). We watched incredible tales together, took pictures, webcam with each other even though we're at the same place.(i used my bro's laptop while he uses mine.), and all sorts. Its like, my god, heaven. We slept at around 12am. I keep moving about. And somehow i ended up at his legs. HAHA. Then alarm went off at 6am. Time for him to go home. I didnt want him to leave. But he has to. So yeah he did leave. I gave him an umbrella cause it was like a hurricane and typhoon outside. Felt bad cause he was really cold. Hugged him and bid our goodbyes. Time for some pictureszxz spam. So today might be staying at home. I want to go out and meet him again. Tak naik jelak kay jumpe die selalu. Just waiting for him to msg me. Kay i think i want to do some heymath and then off to some more sleep. Heh bye.
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay